Teaching: Frustrating & Rewarding

These last few weeks of the new semeseter at school have been extremely frustrating.

I find myself wondering "What the heck am I doing?" I have dreaded coming to work/school and I've felt overwhelmed and exhausted to the point of dreaming (once again) of alternative careers.

My daily flip calendar today states:
"Teaching is brain surgery without breaking the skin. It should not be entered into lightly nor performed by amateurs."

It struck me or more so challenged me. I can do this- I've been fully & properly trained in both my subject area and the profession of teaching by great mentors. I might just need an attitude adjustment.

I spoke on the phone to a few of my peers, mentors and friends last night regarding my emotional state (all while enjoying a 1/2 bottle of wine, which was very nice).

I decided to committ to the attitude change and just do what I do at the full and a half speed I do it in and let it all hang out.

Then tonight two things occured:
1) I read the letters from parents regarding their student that I had assigned. I learned more than I could imagine about my students and made some connections I would not have otherwise.

2) I had a student meeting with a struggling kid. He was very nervous about meeting with his teachers since he had done so poorly last semester. As we went around the room discussing his academic challenges- he began to sob. This just broke my heart. I was him. I struggled, all the way from 1st grade to Ohio State- I struggled. I would not do homework because it frustrated me, I would skip class because of the anxiety of not doing my homework. It is a horrible cycle.

I realized once again, why I am a teacher. I truly care about these kids and their success and I want the best for this kid and others like him.

So I sat down and wrote him a note. He is a brave young man who faces a lot of challenges (including a horrible home life). My renewed faith in what I do will carry me through.

Thank you to all of those who have listened to me complain this last week about how horrible life is and teaching is- I am wrong. I will do better. I will make a difference. I will enjoy every bitter step of the way.

I love what I do. I make a difference.